I Never Thought I'd See The Day
by Orangeblossom-Foxburr
Summary: Merry and Pippin should be careful, as 'one thing always seems to lead to another'. Who knows what might come of it?


Title: I never thought I'd see the day.

Author: Evil Lil' Hobbit

Pairing: Merry/Pippin

Rating: R

Summary: Merry shouldn't touch Pippin in such ways, as 'one thing always seems to lead to another'. And what if someone were to walk in on them?

Disclaimer: Every thing in this story was invented by J.R.R Tolkien... except, of course, for the sex. Even so... nobody pays me for writing that.

Warnings: Incest, but only cousin/cousin

Setting: This is set in the shire just before Bilbo's party, possibly in Brandy Hall.

Author's Notes: I seem to enjoy writing about hobbits... hums absent mindedly

Feedback: Is craved!

* * *

Pippin gasped as Merry stepped up behind him and squeezed him in a most un-cousinly place.

"Merry," he hissed quietly. "What on earth you are doing?"

"Claiming what is rightfully mine," Merry replied simply.

"I am not yours, let alone rightfully," Pippin whispered heatedly. "Now please release me."

"Aw, come off it, Pip. You know you like it," Merry grinned, squeezing a bit harder, causing a most amusing expression to form on Pippin's face.

"Oi, shove off," Pippin now sounded more interested than annoyed, as he playfully batted Merry's prying hands away.

Merry obliged Pippin and took a step back, only to suddenly lunge at, and tackle Pippin to the floor. Pippin squealed with delight as Merry straddled him and began to tickle him.

"N-no! Stop that tickles!" He squealed, squirming beneath his older, stronger cousin. Merry laughed haughtily.

When both could take no more, Merry stopped, and rested his hands on either side of Pippin's shoulders. Both were panting heavily as they looked smilingly at each other.

A softer expression than that normally worn by Merry over came his face as he looked down at his younger cousin. But it did not last long, as Pippin caught Merry by surprise when he suddenly sat up and kissed Merry on the lips. Merry gasped and tumbled backwards off Pippin. Pippin giggled gleefully as he pounced on Merry, knocking him to the floor where they scuffled for a bit. Scuffling, however, soon turned to kissing. When they came apart to breath, Merry tousled Pippin's hair affectionately.

"We shouldn't do this you know," Pippin whispered.

"Why not? All we are doing is kissing," Merry responded.

"But we are cousins, and one thing always seems to lead to another..." Pippin murmured timidly.

"And what if it does become more than kissing?" Merry demanded. "Would you mind?"

Pippin blushed, but answered truthfully, even though his voice wavered, "No, not at all."

"Then what's your problem?" Merry grinned, moving to kiss Pippin again.

Pippin cuffed his cousin about the ear. "Do you ever take me seriously?"

"No," Merry said in a superior voice. "And you know you love it."

Pippin stuck his tongue out at Merry, before pouting in a childish manner, crossing his arms, and turning his face away from his cousin. Merry raised his eyebrows, he adored a challenge and his youngest cousin had to be his favourite challenge of all. He lent forward and stuck his tongue in Pippin's ear.

"Ewwwwwwww!" Pippin cried. "That does it!" In a surprising show of strength, he displaced Merry from atop him and in turn straddled him, only to find Merry was laughing.

"If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask," He sniggered. Pippin blushed and Merry watched Pippin's pout slowly turn into a smile.

"That's not fair, you tricked me," Pippin whined.

"You are always such a sore loser, Pip," Merry scoffed as he pulled Pippin down close and kissed him.

Merry broke away and inhaled deeply as he felt himself harden. Merry began to rock his hips beneath Pippin to help ease his tension. Pippin closed his eyes dreamily, his lips parted slightly, as he concentrated on swaying his hips in time with Merry's, giving a sharp intake of breath as his and Merry's hardness' brushed together.

"How's 'bout it, Pip?" Merry enquired.

"Will you be gentle with me?" Pippin snivelled.

"Oh, I have to be gentle with you? Do I have to be on top then?" Merry jeered at his cousin, who only nodded pitifully. "And shall we just do it here on the floor? Where anyone could walk in?"

A mischievous light gleamed in both their eyes, and within seconds they were at each other's buttons, carelessly discarding each item of clothing as it was removed. Merry was sitting with Pippin in his lap, and they were now both naked. Pippin couldn't help the shrill, excited giggle that escaped him as Merry kissed along his collar bone, but when Merry bit into him, Pippin slapped him hard across the back, the sharp sound of skin on skin echoing about them.

"Oh! That hurt!" Pippin feebly protested.

"I'm sorry," Merry appealed, looking up at Pippin innocently. Pippin sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. Merry was supposedly the older, 'sensible' one. Sometimes, Pippin thought, he was much more childish.

"Hey, put me down!" Pippin squeaked, when Merry, holding him firmly from beneath, lifted him up and laid him back on the floor. Merry leaned his body down over Pippin's, again placing his hands either side of Pippin's shoulders to support himself. Taking Pippin by surprise, he suddenly ground down with his hips. Pippin gasped, biting his bottom lip to prevent further noise. Merry watched as Pippin's eyes closed, lulled by the rhythmic rocking of Merry's hips against his. Merry stoped abruptly with a deep groan that echoed in the empty hall.

"Don't stop," Pippin moaned with frustration, his eyes fluttering open, hips arching up to meet with Merry's.

"Okay, okay, hang on a moment," Merry muttered, sliding his body a bit further down along Pippin. However, Pippin seemed suddenly distracted.

"Someone is coming," he whispered.

"Well, it's certainly not me!" Merry exclaimed indignantly, Pippin's exact use of the phrase taking a moment to be realised. "Oh..."

There was a loud, resounding knock at the door and Merry scrambled up to get it, while Pippin hid himself. Merry hopped his way to the door, while trying to hitch on a pair of Pippin's pants, being unable to find his own.

"Hello, Merry," Frodo said, cheerfully, as Merry opened the door to him.

"Geez, Frodo, you visit at some of the most inappropriate times," was all he got in response.

"Oh, am I... interrupting... something?" Frodo whispered looking Merry up and down, taking in the fact that Merry was shirtless, hard and quite obviously wearing a pair of Pippin's pants. (He could tell they were Pippin's by a distinct patch on the right knee and the fact they were a tad to small for Merry.)

"Um," Merry faltered at the sly grin on Frodo's face.

"I'll come by again in the morning, shall I?" Frodo smiled, and, without waiting for an answer, left, closing the door behind him.

Merry stood blinking dazedly at the door where Frodo had just been standing, unaware that Pippin was sneaking up behind him. When he was close enough, Pippin gave a cry and leapt onto Merry's back, wrapping his legs about Merry's waist and his arms, loosely, around Merry's neck.

"Play with me, Merry," Pippin whispered as Merry reached back to help support him. Merry set off at a gallop about the room for a couple laps. When he eventually stopped, his was out of the breath. He gently lowed the laughing Pippin to the ground, before turning to face him. He smiled as he looked at Pippin, whose face was alight with childish mirth.

Pippin at long last calmed down and ceased laughing. Then, with a somewhat seductive look on his face, and quite aware of his cousin's avid staring, Pippin lay back and spread his legs wide enough to accommodate Merry.

"Now, where were we?" Merry mused, leaning forward and kissing Pippin, while struggling to get out of Pippin's pants.

"Oh, about here," Pippin grinned, rubbing himself up against Merry.

"But of course," Merry nodded agreeably.

He lowed himself down between Pippin's legs, causing Pippin's knees to twitch further open, making sure Merry had enough room. Merry paused, unsure of whether to proceed.

"Yes, please," Pippin pleaded, winding his legs around Merry and pulling him down. Merry stayed silent, gnawing slightly on his lip, but nodded and slowly pushed in. Pippin's body tensed, and Merry waited until he relaxed before beginning to move, slowly. Pippin lifted his body to take more of Merry in. They moved together, rising and falling, their bodies intertwined. Pippin's soft cries of pleasure echoed around them in the otherwise silent room. Merry's speed continued to increase with each movement, as they both drew closer to completion. Merry took hold of Pippin as climax seized them both, Pippin lifted his entire body of the floor as he threw his head back and cried aloud his love. Merry was panting to hard to say anything. Pippin sunk slowly back to the floor, his face heavily flushed. A trickle of sweat ran down Merry's forehead to drip off his nose, onto Pippin's breast. Merry sighed comfortably and dropped to the ground beside Pippin, gently brushing the sweat drop away. Pippin shifted over, nuzzling against Merry's body, while Merry draped an arm languidly about Pippin's shoulders. There was a complete, momentary silence before they both began to laugh hysterically.

"I cannot believe that actually happened," Pippin panted, sounding in awe.

"Trust me, it did, and that was the best," Merry breathed in Pippin's ear, his breath stirring Pippin's hair.

"I could agree with you there, my dear Meriadoc," Pippin yawned. After all that, he was exhausted.

"See, I knew you liked it," Merry suddenly boasted.

"Oh, shut up!" Pippin snapped, smacking Merry.

"Okay, whatever you say, my darling Peregrin," Merry countered sarcastically.

Pippin yawned widely again, snuggling to Merry, using Merry's shoulder as a pillow. Merry nestled his face into Pippin's hair and before either could say another word, both were sound asleep.

"Rise and shine!"

Merry awoke as a cheerful voice roused him from his sleep. His eyes took a moment to adjust in the morning sunlight that was shining about them. He felt Pippin stir, and turned to look at him. He gently shook Pippin to wake him, while whispering.

"Come on, Pip. It's time to... FRODO?!?"

Pippin's eyes snapped open at Merry's startled cry. He and Merry stared sheepishly up at the hobbit standing before them.

"Perhaps I should rephrase the 'rise' part. Good morning, cousins," Frodo beamed down at them. "Am I ever glad I did not come in last night."

"Frodo!" Pippin sounded mortified, blushing from head to foot.

"I do not want, nor care for any details of what happened between you two last night, but I must insist you put these on," Frodo continued to smile as he held out two sets of clothes.

"Yes, Frodo."

"Thank you, Frodo."

The two young hobbits embarrassedly stood and dressed quickly. By the time they had dressed, Frodo was preparing to leave.

"Where are you going?" Merry asked softly.

"Back to Bag End to see if Sam has arrived yet," Frodo answered. He turned to face his cousins. "I only came over to see if all was well, and unless I am deceived, it is, so I'll be taking my leave."

He took a few steps forward but paused again.

"Oh, yes, and after seeing Merry wearing your pants, Pippin, I thought you may need help finding all of your clothes again." Frodo's voice clearly betrayed his amusement. "Good morning." And with that Frodo left, though they could both have sworn, as the door closed behind Frodo, they heard him chortle, "Merry and Pippin, I never thought I'd see the day."

* * *

A/N: Again, if anyone has any Lord of the Ring's fanfic requests, I'd love to hear them, get ideas on what to write. )

But I must say, male SLASH is my speciality. Can't really write straight stuff of this... measure, not that it's needed on this site, eh? And I've never written femslash. I can also tone it down, as it were.

Also, I know I write about hobbits a lot... but I'm willing to try write any coupling...


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